Thursday, March 1, 2012

NaBloPoMo - Uncertainty

My cousin, Natalie, sent me an email last week regarding National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo).  Since we were at Disney World when I received the email, I didn't give it much thought.  Yesterday, I read the email through and thought it may be something fun to participate in...  It is actually really simple - You just commit to writing on your blog each day during the month of March.  For those without a ton to say, they even provide daily prompts for a little extra motivation.  So, here goes...

How do you feel about uncertainty? Is it exciting or scary?

Here's the deal, and I am not gonna sugar-coat it....  Uncertainty scares the ever-livin' sh*t out of me.  Plain and simple.

However, allow me to explain...  I enjoy having a schedule, a plan, a guide or whatever other term you want to give it.  I thrive off planning things for myself and others.  It is just my thing.  I prefer having some kind of general idea of what's coming next.  Unfortunately, I was forced to get over myself about uncertainty and transitions in life.  I can plan, plan, plan to my little heart's content, but that doesn't mean something won't get fu**ed up change.  

Many, many years agoAbout 2 years ago, my fear of uncertainty, feelings of inadequacy, and a few other things caused me to basically "lose my cookies".  I ended up going to therapy and working through coping mechanisms and cutting through all the crap.  So, it has taken a lot of work and it isn't without a daily kick in the butt...But, uncertainty isn't all that bad.  I don't love it, but I don't freak out at the sight of it.  Sometimes uncertainty can be really cool, like a new adventure.  Just all depends on how you think about it.  

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