Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Fear of failure and other reflections

I am afraid of being a failure.  I don't think I have ever really shared that with anyone and most people wouldn't guess it right off.  But, failure scares the ever-living shit out of me.  I am a decent wife.  I am a relatively good daughter.  I feel like I am an asset to my organization most days.  I try to be the best friend possible. 

My weight loss journey has shown me that there is nothing wrong with failing every once in a while.   I tend to think of any week where I didn't lose 2+ pounds, didn't workout/run 5 times, or didn't measure/track my food diligently as a week where I failed.  But, I have realized that these small failures are ok.  They are the things that make the journey worth continuing.  When I don't do the best one week, it is all the more motivation to get back on track - on track to a life full of healthful goals and actions.  In the past, I never shared with people that I was on Weight Watchers/trying to lose weight.  I guess this was due in part to thinking that the fewer the people that knew what I was doing, the fewer people knew when I failed.  This time it is different.  Just like with my running, I am telling everyone  It is good to talk about the healthy food choices I am making; it is nice to get compliments on how I look.  Any and all encouragement is welcome!  I realize that I need that accountability in order to move forward on the journey.  

I went to my first meeting on Monday, November 29.  As much as I hate to put it down on paper, I weighed in at whopping 197.6 pounds (on my 5'4" frame) at the meeting.  Tonight, I attended my new weekly meeting and my weight was 193.8 pounds.  In case your math skills aren't that great, that is 3.8 pounds lost since last Monday.  While I am very excited about the weight loss, it is hard to celebrate too much.  I am worried that if I get too excited, I will become to comfortable with the new plan and not work out as much, etc.  So, here's the reveling in the success of the week and continuing on the journey...

1 comment:

  1. Wooohoo! Great job! :0) You are doing awesome!